Tuesday, February 3, 2009

(S)he drinks a Whiskey drink, (s)he drinks a Vodka drink

My bachelorette party was the weekend before last (before last...which is three weeks...crap, time flies. I have like ten posts that I've started and none are finished because I've been so busy *doing* the wedding that I haven't had time for *writing* about said doing).

Anyway, I had a blast. I have ridiculously creative friends. They gave me clues which led to different bars in the city and each bartender had the next clue. Too cute, right?

You know what's not cute?


I'm never drinking again. OK, that has a slightly false ring to it.

Thus, I must clarify: I am never having another shot again.

Who thought of this thing - shots? And shouldn't an intelligent person be wary of a drink consumed in a form bearing the same name as the artillery fired from a weapon of death?

Needless to say, I haven't had a hangover of this proportion since college. Actually, I take that back. I didn't get hangovers like this when I was in college.

This is actually a new phenomenon and clearly a predominant reason for a severely decreased consumption of multiple glasses of alcohol in one sitting.

Even of my faithful companion, White Wine. Even White Wine has become the friendly neighbor who makes you temporarily happy by plying you with food, until you realize that you are gnawing on a poisonous apple.

OK, that's a stretch and I think mixing some fairy tales with apartment dwelling, but right now my neighbors are having a massive argument and it's giving me a headache so I'm having a hard time separating fact from fiction.

But alcohol now affects me in a way it never did before. It hurts.

A Haiku On Hangovers
O, my dear White Wine,
why do you betray?
Were you not my friend?

Getting old sucks.

Hangovers suck.

Eggs benedict with a side of homefries when you think you're gonna boot in a Murray Hill restaurant with 10 of your closest friends looking at you with concern tinged with pity while in NYC sucks.

But friends who travel from around the country just to go to your bachelorette and watch you make a fool of yourself until you can't remember anything (and then watch you try not to toss your cookies the next morning) are the best.

That sounds an awful lot like a Mastercard commercial, doesn't it? I didn't mean for it to.



redframe said...

Ooh Lordy I'm with you on the age + hangovers = so unfair. We need MORE alcohol as we get older, not less. Who really needs warm fuzzy wine happiness when you're 19? The world is your oyster and everyone is young and beautiful. Fast fwd to 29 and life is all serious, bills, taxes, relationship disasters. And then you get punished for escaping into a little alcohol fugue. It ain't fair man! But your party sounds great.

Mrs English nee Trini said...

Priceless indeed!

I remember the days when I could drink 2 bottles of wine and follow it up with cocktails, and provided I had a pint of water and some carbs before bed, I'd still be drunk the next day, but no hangover! (I sound like I was an alcoholic. Upon reflection I might have been for a brief period. Hmmm...)

Now 2 glasses and I'm in a world of pain. Ageing sucks.

Krista said...

Well, at least you have great friends.

Oh, I miss the days of no hangovers. Now .. I am old. :) At 27! I can't drink the way I did! (And I don't want to ... I partied it up in university.)

Once again, I love your post.