Thursday, June 12, 2008

So.....[A Needle Pulling Thread]

Sew, er, so - I waited. And waited. (Things don't move fast in the islands.) And finally, word arrived from my cousin - we were IN! A hefty "locals discount" was negotiated (with a nod to some good ole fashioned bartering). I had a venue (and a date)! I started looking at Save The Dates - because indeedy, people must know The Date (not just any date...THE DATE). Color themes plagued my dreams...would it be lime, coconut, and purple or should I select turquoise, shell and sand? (Two color schemes I still think are totally gorge by the way...and not only because I get to sing "You put the lime in the co-co-nut", each time I think of the former).

All that was left to do was to sign the contract!
And then the contract arrived.
And there was a surprise.

I hate surprises. OK, that's a total lie. I love surprises! Which is why I was so damn pissed when I realized I needed to confirm that we would guarantee that at least 10 hotel rooms would be rented for three nights each (at a minimum cost of $400). Ah ha. Hhm. Yup. That is a guarantee by ME of $12,000. That means that if we couldn't get people to stay at that hotel for three nights, we would lose that money. Gone. Adios. Hasta You get the idea. Oh, and another detail - we had arranged for a hotel across the street for half the price to do a block for our guests. Sooooo, I did the logical thing and started asking around.

[Ring ring]

Hi! It's Enraged & Engaged. How are you?
>GOOOOD! How are you? So I hear you set a place and a date!! That's SO great! Tell me all about it!
Well, that's why I'm calling. Remember when you and Bob were going to break up but then you got pregnant and you got married?
>You're pregnant?
No. I'm melodramatic and sarcastic and trying to change the subject. What I want to know is how do you feel about staying for three nights at a $400 a night resort?
>Well, uhm, I do have that new baby. And those loans. And the mortgage. But I love you and if you NEED us to, we'll do anything. NEED. US. TO.

So, to avoid making my friends and family paupers, we dumped Plan B (B is for Bye bye beach wedding) in lieu of Plan C.

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